The confetti cannons pop, but nothing releases. Confetti isn’t used during afternoon run throughs. The crew saves the confetti for the final run tonight. Through your peripheral vision, you see your other cast mates dressed in black sequined suits. Sweat trickles from the lace on your wig. You take deep breaths and wipe the sweat off of your forehead. The exhaustion overwhelms your body. The stage manager’s voice fills the theater.


“Alright everybody. Great run of the show. It’s six now. I will see you back on stage at eight for an invited final dress. Have a great dinner!”


You drink some water to re-energize yourself. You take your time getting out of costume. You glance at your phone every few minutes hoping it will light up with your signal.
“Hey Megan, want to come with us to the deli in town?”
“No thanks! I’m gonna grab something in a bit.”
You wait for everyone to leave the theater. You receive a a text from “Sir,” and you make your way to the sushi restaurant in town.


Your mind races with each step. Not only has the show been a lot to handle, but your personal life has been taking some punches. Your ex-boyfriend wants a second chance, and it’s been hard to ignore. You haven’t had the time to figure out how you honestly feel about it. Most women fantasize about the moment their ex apologizes for everything, and begs for a second chance, but is that really what you want right now? Your mind constantly focuses on the show and taking care of your body, do you have time to fix a relationship that has already broken? You just want to sleep when you get home, and work is not the place to analyze your love life. One of the biggest things theater taught you is that no matter what is going on in your life, you leave it at the door before entering the studio, stage door, etc. No one cares if you’re having a bad day, or if your ex hurt your feelings, or if your dog died. Someone in the audience spent good money to see you smile, dance, and sing your heart out.
Now is the time to quiet all of those thoughts, and just enjoy a good meal… and hopefully good company.


You walk through the heated restaurant and meet “Sir” at a table in the back. You overheat in your long sleeve, wool, turtle neck dress from your neck to your knees. Your black winter hat stays on to cover your wig prep. A vent releases warm air above your head, and certainly doesn’t help the nerves running through your veins. You smile through the sweat. “Sir” smiles back with a glimmer in his cool, blue eyes. You take a seat on a cushioned bench as he sits in the wooden chair across from you.
“Thank you for coming to dinner. I wasn’t sure that you would say yes.”
“No need to thank me. I was pleasantly surprised that you asked.”
He asks more about your life outside of work. Before you know it, you are caught in a tennis match of questions. Conversation continues and calms you to a cool. This is easy, it’s honest, and it’s the perfect distraction from all of the stress that surrounds you. After a wonderful 50 minutes, the bill is paid, and you walk half way to the theater together. He stops and turns to you.


“I really enjoyed this time together. You are absolutely lovely and so easy to talk to. I wish we had more time.”


“Me too. This was really nice.”


He seals the evening with an act of endearment, and continues towards the theater. You stay back and watch him walk away. He was the perfect gentleman, he was kind, and he naturally carried himself in a way you’d hoped other men in your life would have. All of that said, you have less than a week before he’s off to another country. You will be touring the U.S. with this show for a year and a half. Whether you see this man again or not, you had a lovely dinner. You learned more about how you deserve to be treated, and you can carry his positivity with you through this new, exciting adventure that awaits you with this production.


You re-enter the theater with the perfect energy to give the invited audience members everything they want to see and more. The girls in the dressing room notice your boost, but don’t question where it came from. Instead, you turn on some music and blast the speakers. You warm up by jumping and dancing around to some old school jams as you sing along to Michael Jackson and Selena Quintanilla. You strut to the stage and arrive on your opening number. The lights black out. The sound effect resembling a gun shot echo through the theater. For the first time, you hear the sound of an audience gasp. Goosebumps raise through your skin.


With each scene, it’s as if those goosebumps never go away. It’s incredible to finally have an audience to feed off of to help drive the energy of the show. If this is what the final dress rehearsal feels like, imagine what opening night will bring. The sliders close as the play off music continues. You faintly hear an echo of applause continuing until the music ends. You hear your director’s voice boom through the monitors on stage.


“Fantastic work everyone. I will wait to give you all notes before the first preview. Enjoy the rest of the night.”


It’s the day after Thanksgiving, and you have never been more thankful for every day leading up to now. After a lifetime of training, years of auditioning, 4 weeks of rehearsal, endless hours of tech, dress rehearsals, and previews, you finally open the U.S. premiere of a musical in a Tony Award-winning regional theater. Two bucket list goals check off.


You walk into the dressing room laughing with excitement seeing all of the opening night gifts at your station. Cards, candy, cups, booze, and two bouquets of flowers. One from a friend in L.A., and another from “Sir.” He’s been gone a week already, but he made sure he was here in spirit for opening. Funny enough, your ex is here for opening night. Your dressing roommate, Emily walks over to smell the flowers.


“Your ex better step up his game if he wants a second chance. He better not be empty handed.”
“Oh stop! I don’t care about all of that. I just want to enjoy tonight.”


Your phone lights up and you see a text from your parents.
“Break a leg honey! Love you!”
That’s what matters. You get to share your success with the people who made it all possible. You keep your focus on your parents, and the love and support you receive from your cast and crew.


After another ladies room jam session, you walk onto the stage to join the cast in a circle. Everyone puts a hand in the middle of the circle. Deborah looks around gifting words of encouragement.


“Alright y’all, this is the moment we’ve been working for. Go out there and be fierce. Let’s show them what we came here to do. BG on three. One, two, three…”
“BG!”


The audience roars. People stand clapping and dancing in front of their seats and in the aisles. You scan the crowd to see a complete standing ovation. You have no idea how you got to this moment. The show felt like it was stuck on fast forward. Your heart burst through your blazer as you head back to your dressing room. You exit the stage door in your opening night dress with all of your goodies in hand. Seeing the prideful smiles on your parents’ faces makes every little bit of stress you’ve dealt with worth it. Since you were a child, you’ve fantasized about moments like this. You’ve fantasized about being able to treat your parents to opening night parties with glitz and glam after everything they’ve done for you. You’ve fantasized about making it as a true professional in this industry. For the first time, those fantasies are your reality. ​

Its been a month since you performed your way through final callbacks. You have a new manager rooting for you, you’ve formed new relationships with big choreographers in the industry, and you are rehearsing for your second tour in LA. It’s a good feeling to have so many positive distractions from not knowing if you got the job.


It’s your first time rehearsing a show in LA. Rehearsals are held at Abby Lee Dance Company Los Angeles. After years of watching “Dance Moms” on the couch, you are now in the room where it happens. It’s a great boost. After being told, “you can’t keep up with LA dancers,” you are proving that you can. You are on a ten-minute break laughing with your new tour family when your phone buzzes. You step away from the group to answer the call.


“Hi, Megan? This is Paul from casting. I’m calling regarding The Bodyguard. Do you have an agent/manager that we can get in contact with?”
“Yes! I’ll send you his email address and phone number now!”
“Great. Thank you, Megan. I’ll be in touch.”


You immediately start jumping around and rolling on the floor. This has to mean you got the job! If you got it, that means you only have a month between closing this tour, and starting rehearsals for The Bodyguard. That is the performers’ DREAM—CONSISTENT WORK. You’ve never known what it feels like to have two jobs lined up one right after the other.


Your new friends notice your sudden outburst of excitement. They ask about the call, and you tell them your theory of having the job. You reiterate that nothing is set in stone. You explain what this opportunity means to you. Most of these dancers don’t do much theater, so you explain what audition life in NYC is like. The more they learn, the more they cheer you on. It’s an amazing feeling to have their support. They’re crossing their fingers for you. As the break ends, you all step back into the studio. There is a lot of choreography to learn in a short amount of time. It’s a new style of dancing for you, so you have to stay extra focused. Regroup, breathe, and stay present.


The next day, you receive a voicemail from your manager.
“Hey Megan! I’m just checking in to see how rehearsals are going. Since you are in LA I wanted to see if you had time to grab lunch or dinner! I’d love to touch base on a few things. Give me  a call when you get a chance! Talk soon!”


You hope he’s heard from Paul. Regardless, it’s so refreshing to have a representative that makes time for you. Someone who makes time to discuss the steps to take in order to pursue your dreams. Someone who wants to understand who you are as a performer and person. It’s important to be on the same page. It’s important for you both to want the same things. After all, If you’re not working, no one is making money.


You plan for dinner with Gregg, your manager, after rehearsal tomorrow. Until then, You need to focus on memorizing every step of this new show. Drill the choreography now so you can take a break at dinner tomorrow night.


It’s 6:30 on a Thursday night. You hop in an Uber and head to dinner. When you get to the restaurant, you see your manager. He always has the most welcoming smile when you see him. His positive energy is one of the many reasons you want to work with him. You two grab a table outside and settle into your seats. As you sit across from him, you notice a shift in his smile. His arms hug into his sides as a look of boiling secrecy spreads across his face. Before he even opens his mouth, you prepare for what he’s about to say.


“So, I called you for dinner because we need to discuss some things. You, my dear, have been cast as an Ensemble Member in the First National Tour of The Bodyguard the Musical! YOU DID IT! CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Rehearsals will start October 17th…”


Tears of pure joy trickle from the corners of your eyes. There’s this adrenaline shock that almost sends shivers through your body. Your heart feels like a seed that is blooming into the most beautiful red rose. It fills your chest as you begin to sit with the posture of pride. You can still hear the sound of Gregg’s voice as he continues to list all of the wonderful details included on your next big journey. Seeing his smile, and hearing his excitement creates this smile like one of a cartoon character’s that spreads passed it’s cheeks. This is the job you have been waiting for. This job will give you your Equity Card. You will officially be a member of the Actors Equity Association. This means an increase in pay, benefits, better contracts, and so much more.


Absorb it all.


“Gregg, I can’t thank you enough for handling my contract! Real quick, I have to call my parents and tell them the news!’


You call your mom and put the phone on speaker. You make sure your dad is present, and tell them both this life-changing news. You can hear the amount of pride they have bursting through the phone. Hearing this intensifies each emotion currently flowing through your veins. You have been fortunate enough to have parents that encourage you to work towards your goals. There aren’t enough people in this world that look at the arts as a realistic place to get a job. Your parents understand the effort it takes, and the rewards that come with doing what you love.You can’t ask for anything more.


After a positively eventful dinner, you give Gregg the biggest hug, and Uber your way back to your temporary apartment. On the way there, you begin to reflect on the last 4 years. You were a junior in college when you booked your first tour. A 19-years old cast as the only female swing. After 7 months, 80 cities, and 48 one nighters on a crazy roller coaster of a show, you walked away as a 20-year old with many new skills to take back with you to college. You earned your BFA in Musical Theater in only 3 years.This prepared you to do shows at credible, equity Regional Theaters, but you were still a non-union actor. You did double the work for half the pay. The reward was the experience of learning from seasoned professionals, and earning points towards your equity card. You are a proud Equity Membership Candidate who was convinced that she would spend many years working show-after-show to earn each point. 25 points later, you are cast in a show that will be giving you your full membership.


The Bodyguard will rehearse in NYC and open at Papermill Playhouse. The show will sit there for 6 weeks. In that time, you will have to remain a non-union actor, but the very first day the tour officially launches, you will receive your card and the benefits that come with it. Since you will be living in NYC for two months making non-union money, you will probably have to continue teaching a few fitness classes after rehearsal. You have to be smart with your money. Rent isn’t cheap. Continue to budget and save during this tour and the month you will have free before the next round of rehearsals.


You slow down the endless thoughts racing through your mind. You arrive at the apartment. The future thoughts can rest as you reprogram yourself into the now. Do a quick choreography review, shower, and get some rest. You have an entirely different show that you currently need to focus on. You can’t help but think, “Two shows back to back. Wow. It’s shocking how all of your hard work has paid off.” In this moment, you’ve never felt more driven. Tonight, you sleep with pride. ​

It’s almost 2pm. The men flood into the holding room. They begin to prep for their first round of dancing. You have two rounds under your belt, and an hour and a half before you have to come back and warm up for round 3. Time for a light lunch.

After eating just enough to refuel without slipping into a food coma, you step back into the holding room. The leftover ladies join the remaining men. Your headphones are in. You are listening to your “Calm” playlist. You breathe into your zone as you place your bag down on one of the chairs that surround the studio. You stretch into a split on the studio floor. As your eyes wander, you notice there seems to be more women than men. The men will be working overtime during this partnering call. While the creative/casting team shovel their lunch in 15 minutes, the monitor walks in.

“Hey everyone! The creative team wants the ladies to wear heels. You will be learning a salsa combination. We’ll call everyone in as soon as the team is ready.”

4pm hits and you file back into the studio surrounded by every eager auditionee. The team is still behind a table at the far end of the studio. To your right, the mirrors are still foggy from the heat and sweat pouring out of the dancers that have given their all throughout the day. You step into a line formed shortest to tallest. Ladies line up side by side in front of the men. Now facing the mirror, you begin to eye the men behind you. Each man will partner two ladies that best match their height. You have to pay extra close attention since you won’t be working with your partner consistently. Focus on retaining the foot work. The man has to lead. If he’s a good partner, he will guide each move using the correct signals. The creative team will be able to tell who is leading, and who is following. If they notice you trying to lead the man, they will see you as an uncooperative partner, and there goes the job.

This combination is much faster than you anticipated, but you luck out with a great partner. The team watches interactions between every pair in the room. They see that you are personable and easy to work with. You continuously follow and support your partner. This is the first time you have ever met this guy, and you are trusting his hands with your body. The dance ends with you sitting on his shoulder as he walks in a circle. A lot can go wrong. Everyone’s getting tired. He’s lifting two of you over and over again. You are doing a great job of pulling your weight no matter how run down you have become over the last 11 hours of being awake and on the go. If you both want the job, you have to keep it together. Feeding off of adrenaline, you continue to drill alone and swap sweat as you share your partner with another woman. You can’t wait for a long shower.

It’s almost 5pm. “Alright everybody, take another minute to work through the number with each partner, and then we will call you up two couples at a time.”

You have two chances to get this right. The men get four. If he misses a step, you have to try your best to keep going without leading him. Above all, breathe. You have been doing some really great work all day. Just a little longer to go. Don’t let the momentum slip now.

You join your fellow dancers in a clump along the right side of the studio. You review each step as you go. You look to your left, and your partner is there. He gives you a nod, and an assuring pat on the back. Everyone eagerly waits to be called up to the center of the studio.

“Up next we’ll have Allie Donaldson and her partner downstage, and Megan Elyse Fulmer and her partner upstage.”

You and your partner grab hands and walk to your spot in the center. Immediately, you two get into the zone. There is a lot of intro music, and the choreography is intimate. You begin free styling a moment of just meeting in the club, connecting on the dance floor, and doing your own salsa steps. After all, you two did just meet each other an hour ago. Your story line isn’t far from reality.

“5,6,7,8!”

You two are killing it! You feel so free as he guides you into every step. There is something so liberating about being spun around and swept off your feet. Before you know it, you are already on his shoulder spinning, truly feeling like you are “every woman”.

“Awesome you guys. Now switch positions. Allie and Brendon upstage, Megan and Jason downstage.”

You already nailed the combination one time. You know you can do it again. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see the team truly taking interest in you. You can feel their serious consideration of putting you in this show. Just one more. You are every woman. It’s all in you.

The intro music plays, and you appear to have the same backstory, but with totally different moves. It’s still within the style of the rest of the dance. You guys got this.

“5,6,7,8!”

You two start off strong, but his foot work slips from his mind. As you two continue to hold eye contact, you give him the nod of reassurance. In your mind you tell him “It’s ok. We’ll keep it going,” and you can see he got the hint. No matter what, you must let him lead. You trust that he can get it together. With that energy, he pulls through and you make it through the last four 8 counts. Before you know it, you’re back on his shoulder feeling more confident than ever about all of the hard work you’ve put in today.

“Thank you guys! Next two partners.”

You two head to the far right corner of the room hand in hand.
“Sorry I got tripped up. You’ve been an awesome partner.” he whispers.
“No problem at all. You’re a great partner as well. I’m glad we got to work together.”

As the last four couples dance, you feel this release. Your body is telling you to start relaxing already,  but your mind is telling you not to get too comfortable. The team could ask you and your partner to do the combination again once everyone else has danced. If they call you back another day, you will most likely be doing this choreography again. Keep drilling it so that you wont forget it tomorrow or the next day. The rule of thumb: always be present.

“Thank you all for the work you’ve done today. We will be in touch with you if we need anything else. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

Applause ripples through the studio. Everyone grabs their waters and towels and makes their way back to the holding room. Almost everyone takes their turn to nod their head and say “thank you” to the creative team.

As you enter the holding room, the energy softens. It’s as if everyone just took a deep breath in and released it in unison. Some people are mentally preparing themselves for the fact that they still have to work tonight. Some people had to find someone to cover their shift last minute because they didn’t want to risk missing the call back. Some people had to take that risk. There is rent to pay. They missed this round to run to the restaurant they’re hostessing at, hoping this doesn’t ruin their chances of being considered for the show. You can relate. Luckily you got your morning shift covered at your first job, but you still have a Zumba class to teach in an hour. Take one more breath, pack your bags, change your clothes, and forget about all of this until after your class. Review the choreography for a bit before bed, but don’t get too caught up. Although everything went so well today, there are no guarantees. The waiting game has commenced. ​

​You did it. You made it through the first round as a Non-Equity woman at an ECC. A victory, but no need to get comfortable. 

You don’t know how many hours you have left today, or how many days will proceed this initial call. You don’t know how many names the creative team kept from groups of dancers before you. This isn’t exclusive yet. There is a lot to prove. Get back into the holding room, go through your binder of music, flip to your “pop/rock” section, and decide which 16/32 bars will fit the style of the show. What song will showcase your vocal abilities? There seems to be about 30 women before you. Drink some water, warm up those vocal chords, and breathe.

As you wait for the monitor to call your name again, the women begin to line up ten at a time. Each woman walks back into the studio, and sings their 30-second solo. Those 30 seconds determine whether or not you move forward in the audition process. You have to show off your range. You have to make sure you are acting, telling the story of the song you selected as you sing. Even before you sing, you must remember to be personable when you enter the room. This may be the first time the casting/creative team hears you speak. This is the team’s moment to find out if you are someone they’re willing to spend 8 hours a day with during the rehearsal process. You know you’re easy to work with, so all you have to do is be yourself. Simple enough…right?

“Next group of ladies to line up and sing will be as followed….” 

The monitor calls your name. You’re 8th in line. More waiting. You listen to the women before you. At this point, you see the same ladies at every audition. When there is so much waiting throughout the audition process, there is plenty of time to get to know most of the women you are surrounded by. You listen to your friends, or your audition buddies, sing their hearts out. You share the “break a leg” before they enter, and give them the “get it girl! you sounded great!” when they exit. When you find solid friends at auditions, it’s no longer a cat fight assisted by side eye. You have found a tight-knit group of women that encourage each other to succeed. This business is already hard enough. If you’re not going to get the job, you want to see your friends shine. You have watched them work just as hard as you have. All of our hard work has to pay off for someone, somewhere.

“Megan Elyse Fulmer, you’re next.” 

Here we go. Just a couple more steps, and once again, you are in. The door closes behind you, and there are five members of the creative/casting team at the other end of the studio. As they sit behind the table, they’re hoping you’re worth listening to for 30 seconds. The team really does want you to succeed. They want you to be incredible. They want to hire their perfect cast sooner than later. After all, we’re getting close to summer, and the sun is shining. If we’re going to spend 10am-6pm in the studio, we want to already be working on the heart of the show.

You walk over to the pianist they’ve provided to accompany you. You have clearly marked your music. Your markings indicate where you want him to start playing your intro music, where you will start singing, and where you would like to end your cut of the song. You lightly tap your leg and softly sing along, so that he knows at what tempo (how fast, or slow) you would like him to play the song. You don’t want to snap or clap the beat in his face. Again, be personable, not demanding. 

“Hi Megan. What will you be singing for us today?” You take a breath and smile. “I will be singing, “I Can’t Make You Love Me” by Bonnie Raitt”. The team smiles back. “Great! Whenever you’re ready.” 

You take one more breath, you nod at the pianist, and he starts to play. You’re in the moment. You are singing every word as if it were a monologue. It’s as if you are thinking of these words yourself. You are saying each word as if for the very first time. The words fuel your objective within the context of this piece of music. This objective drives your action. The action fills you with emotions. The emotion is controlled enough so that you do not overwhelm the voice. Your sound is clear, and you don’t miss a note. 

“Thank you Megan. Beautiful work. Do you have something contrasting? More uptempo?”

You walk back to the piano, and flip through your music. You have memorized every song in your audition binder, so choosing another will be a piece of cake. You just hope it’s what the team had in mind. 

“Would, “I Feel the Earth Move” by Carole King work for you?”. 
“That’s great!” 

You reset the tempo, reset where you will start/finish, and you are ready for round two. After getting the first song over with, and feeling some positive energy from the creative team, you get to really let loose, have fun, and just perform! You can’t wait for your next chance to do what you love everyday, and get paid for it! These could be the people that give you that chance. That freedom, that passion, that love you’re feeling as you sing is in their hands. 

“Really Great work Megan. Hang outside for a bit, and we’ll let you know if we need anything else from you today.”

Five minutes later, the monitor returns to the holding room. 

“Hey ladies, if I call your name, the creative team would like you to come back at 4pm to dance again. You will be joining the men, and you’ll be doing some partner work. When I call your name, let me know you’re still here. If you have any conflicts, and are unable to attend the 4pm call, come see me. Natalie Wills, Michelle Summers, Becca Lee, Megan Elyse Fulmer…”

“HERE!”